I just noticed there were more comments here then I orginally thought.

When my husband wrote this, he wrote it from his perspective, and he did write a lot about my happiness, which for us is wrapped up in the both of us being happy not just my husband’s happiness for playing WoW 8-12 hours a day. I wasn’t upset he played an hour, I was upset when he’d play 8-12 hours and sometimes 8-17 hours on weekends, that’s a lot of time folks.

In actuality, we both play now- I enjoy WoW as does my husband because he has found a balance. It was never about taking his happiness away, never. I can’t stress that enough. I actually enjoy Halo and Gears of War as well, but again in moderation. Sure its fun to just take an afternoon on the weekends and just have fun watching movies, gaming, doing whatever but those things cannot negate your real life responsibilities, when it does there’s a problem.

I think gamers come to this site, some to seek help for their problems, some to lend solutions and an ear to listen to and some just to be assholes and ‘teach’ us widows a lesson- we’ve had all manners of trolls here, gets pretty funny sometimes actually.

But this is what it boils down to when you’re in a relationship with a gamer who will not stop, and who will not admit they have a problem- you’re angry and sad most of the time, you get depressed at the thought of seeing/hearing from your partner because all they talk about is gaming, you’re pissed because they renege on responsibilities and dates and doing things like household chores.

Its kind of funny actually because most women who take responsibility in that way are called bitches or overbearing, or dominating/domineering but in reality we’re just doing what needs to be done and acting like adults should. Taking care of the responsibility first, then relaxing.

I would ask all males who comment here, or who read this go find the book called the 2nd shift, to see what women have to do in this world because men deem it so. How some men don’t partake in parenting because they’re relaxing after a hard days work, well its like this, things need to get done and be done, and relaxing until later is not always an option. You don’t ignore your responsibilities because you want to relax, that’s just being selfish.

Everyone and I mean everyone needs to partake in the family and relationship, or else you’re not going to have much left eventually. Except being alone, with pixels on a screen wondering where your life and family went.

Cody
age 16
source- I play lots of MMOPRGS. Not as much lately

I have come to one realization, video games like any addiction or distraction is a heart issue. People who are only focus on themselves and are self centered can only focus on what they want and don’t see or care to see the suffering they cause around them. In the bible the Pharisees ask Jesus why did Moses grant a certificate of divorce? He said to them, “Because your hearts are hardened”! Nuff said!!

This seems like an acceptable view point to me. I like the fact that Mr. Husband guy found the balance he needed in his life.

I’m not sure how this sort of thing happens to gamers, where they end up spending hours on end playing a game. I mean, once a year there is a game that comes out that I really really enjoy and maybe the first day I play it I play for around 4 hours tops and then from then on out I play it the normal amount of time which is about 1 to 2 hours a day.

I think video games may be like alcohol some people can manage to have a -single- drink like twice a week and are satisfied with that and some people just drink and drink like crazy all the time and have a sip and just need more and more. I don’t have that addictive of a personality so I’m not really sure what that feels like.

I’ve lived with my girlfriend for about 3 years now and not once has she ever felt neglected by my playing video games. I think that’s just because if I’m playing a game and she asks me to take a walk or something I put down the control and go out and take a walk with her. It’s not hard to do, save the game, get out of the house and take a damn walk. Plan to do other shit every now and again. Doesn’t hurt to go see a movie or go to a miniature golf course once a week or so.

WoW itself seems to be somewhat of a special-case because it just requires so much damn time! It’s silly to because most of that time is spent walking from one side of the world to the other…or hitting the number keys in a repetitive order, over and over again. I played it for about 2 months or so then quit because I would find myself thinking “uggggh. I don’t want to have to spend 30 minutes walking to my next quest!”

I got to say though that some girls just need a damn hobby. My girlfriend crafts things. Like you know, makes top hats, paints, makes little baskets, things like that. She gets really into that and sometimes spends 3 to 4 hours doing that and I don’t complain. I play my games while she’s doing that. She actually does that for more time then I spend playing games. I don’t go to her and say “look, your spending to much time with that sowing machine. It’s not real, I need more attention.”

I’m just not sure from reading this that my thoughts are “gaming=bad times for couples.” I mean that would almost have to mean “Reading=bad times for couples.” I know people who spend hours sitting in a chair reading a book. “Watching T.V.= bad times for couples.” but anyway good luck to the couple in the article (I doubt you go down memory lane to visit this all that often.)

Monique, if you stroll by here again, just got to say, watching an “adult” chastise and call someone she suspects is around 14 years old a failure is kind of sad.

I understand there are people that take it too far, and there are those left to pickup the pieces and I have compassion for you, I simply wanted to point out there is a Grey/Gray area and it’s possible to do the things that these people have left you with a foul taste for.

You both have a point I think that someone being involved in ANYTHING for ridiculous amounts of time can ruin a relationship - whether it be work, a game, sports, etc. - if it isn’t a passion that both people share. If it is shared, then great! I know plenty of couples who are totally satisfied sitting in front of the TV together for 3-4 hours a night. Great! That is something that they can share! But to be cleaning up after someone because they don’t want to leave the computer… that is inexcusable!

Also, if the husband (or wife) who is the ‘addict’ is only playing for 1-2 hours a day, well, maybe, the significant other on this forum should stop nagging Guaranteed in any relationship, not all passions and hobbies will be shared. Maybe you should look into learning a new craft, instrument, or some other hobby of your own!

As a wife who started playing WoW just to see what her husband was talking about (and now plays with him 4xs a week for 2-3 hours), I have found that it is nice to meet your spouse in the middle. WoW allows us to interact more than sitting in front of the TV (I think)… and my husband knows that when there’s an art show in town or new museum exhibition, it is his duty to reciprocate & go with me

The only ‘fail’ in a relationship is when people can’t meet in the middle.