When I met him he was a gamer and I was not.
I figured that with a relationship he would eventually realize I was more important than whatever game had his fancy.
This was 10 years ago and our relationship now is at times barely more than a roommate/friendship.
It's sad because he has been my best friend for years and is a overall wonderful man.
He can have the sweetest disposition at times and then if he feels cornered or scolded he can be pissy as hell.
This is how our 10 years have gone......
When My husband and I first moved out together I worked as a manager putting in 40hrs and more every week.
He had gotten fired so he was at home during this.
I would come home to a messy house after work, have to clean and cook dinner while he laid around playing video games.
Sex was around 1-2 times per week.
This continued for several years and during that time he would work some but video games took up most of his time.
He rarely ever cleaned up after himself, the house, or pets.
Sex dropped to 1-2 times per month.
During this time we took in 2 of my relatives over the course of a couple years due to their health.
Watching 2 people I loved die depressed the hell out of me and left me empty but it didn't matter to my husband evidently because anytime I tried to tell him how unhappy I was he shrugged it off.
During these years of seeing him stay up all night playing video games, withholding sex because the gaming was more important to him, and distancing himself further from me further compounded my depression.
Now a couple of years later I still have not worked and he has went from job to job getting fired and only in the past 6 months held a steady job.
I usually cook, clean, and take care of pets everyday.
He comes home and within the hour it looks like I haven't cleaned at all.
He is a hardcore gamer putting in as many hours as possible even to the point of sleeping late when he should be at work, calling in to work, and totally distancing himself from me.
God forbid I should ask him a question during his gaming!
When he is gaming it's like he isn't even home with me.
He won't take care of the pets, won't clean up after himself, and we have sex maybe once every couple months or so.
I have tried communicating with him about this but to no avail.
When I try to talk to him about it he gets defensive with me and doesn't want to talk.
He makes snide remarks about me doing nothing and him being the one working.
He gets mad now when I stay up all night on the computer and when he initiates sex I no longer want it from him.
I warned him years ago that he was going to keep pushing me away until the tables turned and it happens to him which it did.
Now I don't know why I stay.......
I am still just as depressed and unhappy as hell.
The thing that sucks worse is he used to be my best friend now we argue more than anything.
I finally realized why I resented him and also why I started spending time gaming.
It was because I wanted us to have a wonderful relationship and to be close.
But what I got was a relationship where we grew further and further apart from lack of communication and intimacy.
I resented him for that and for not growing up which in turn made me turn into some mother figure.
Gaming was an escape for him from life and after I got so depressed I used it for that escape also.
We both left our lives behind and started existing as shells of ourselves.
It pisses me off that in fact because of my refusal to take action and give an ultimatum I let myself just exist, that was my fault!
I guess in the end I just keep hoping he will change but I don't see it....
I miss my friend
