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Hello everyone,

I am brand new here, having read about this site in an article on gaming addiction. I am a gaming widow and it doesn't seem that will ever change. My husband plays a variety of board and computer games: WOW, CoC, etc. and his current obsession is Heroes of Might and Magic. He GMs a game at a local hobby store one Sunday a month for about 8-9 hours. That is how he spent Mothers Day this year.

By way of background: I am 37, he is 47 and we've been married 10+ years. I knew when I met him that he was into gaming but I never realized just how much. Over the years it's gradually become more and more clear to me what his true priorities in life are. Besides the gaming, he works up to four side jobs at a time.

We have an 8-year-old son who is in special ed. DH is a teacher, and because he gets off work much earlier than I do (I work in an IT department), he normally picks him up on weeknights. More times than not, as soon as the two of them come home, DH goes upstairs and hops on the computer, where he spends anywhere from 2 to 4 hours every night playing, before coming downstairs to watch TV for an hour or two. He and I don't really interact - we rarely even eat dinner together. He's been "too tired" for intimacy for the last 9 years. We fight a lot and then he retreats back into gaming.

I came home from work one night a couple of weeks ago to find my son sitting on the living room floor, by himself, watching cartoons and eating an entire CAN of Pringles (which were scattered all over the living room floor). I didn't know whether he had had dinner or done his homework. I asked him "Where's Daddy?" He shrugged and replied "Oh, he's upstairs on the computer..." I asked DH when the last time was that he supervised his son and made him sweep up the broken chips.

Normally, I will take over and finish taking care of my son and then I will spend the rest of my evening on the couch alone. A few months ago, I joined Toastmasters and I also sometimes play pub quiz with coworkers - those are my two main social outlets besides Facebook. I do have some girlfriends I go out with - we'll party at someone's house or go to a bar - occasionally as well. I only ever get hugs from my friends.

I feel like I am too young to be so lonely. I wish there was some kind of Meetup group for folks who just need someone to talk to... maybe that would be group therapy?

Thanks for listening...

Hello Minerva,

I hope that you have had an opportunity to look at some of the other posts on this site and see how many people are effected by this addiction. If you have, then I am sure that you have a better understanding how similar your situation is to many of the people who have come here for help and need an opportunity to vent. Welcome.

It sounds like you just have to answer the same question that most people have when they post: How do I fix my spouse and they refuse to change, what do I do? You have to be able to answer that by yourself.

Here is part of something I wrote to another post just last week---- "Here is my positive advice if any; Try to get your spouses to reduce their gaming. See if you can set hours of playing per day. Set up a date night once a week. Write down his play time and after a week or month, present it to him and all the things he could be doing with that time. Counselor? Have your son, family members talk with him and see if they can convince him that there is a problem. Shut off the internet and see how he reacts(look up wow kid freaking out on youtube.com) Gaming is like any other addiction in every way but one... besides the people on this site, no one sees gaming as an addiction." Help him to see how it if affecting you and you son and you marriage is in trouble.

You shouldn't have to look for an outside group to fill that lonely void.

Good Luck,
Jonathan

P.S. Not once in your letter did you say that you love your husband and want him to change. Most people put that in their post.. just a thought.

Hi, I know what it is like to sit on the couch alone. I do it 7 nights a week. Gaming is the same as if the gamer were hooked on drugs. I too am very lonely & depressed. Can't compete with the hold his game has on him. Trying to get the courage to make a major change in my life. Good luck to you..If u wanna chat, I am on here often...Pat in Mississippi....