June 3, 2005

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Filed under: Widows Corner — Tags: , , , , , , , — Lyoness @ 10:41 am

I‘ve been a ‘Gamer Widow’ for about two years now.  My husband and I were married last May, cialis discount, we’re newlyweds, cialis discount, but it doesn’t always feel like we’re newlyweds.  In my own personal stereotype of what newlyweds are supposed to be like, cialis discount, they are all happy and romantic and all over each other in love and mushy and we are not exactly like that.  In fact, cialis discount, perhaps my husband and his video games are newlyweds!

Currently I’m a ‘WoW Widow’ also known as a World of Warcraft widow. Cialis discount, World of Warcraft is a very popular Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing game, cialis discount, MMORPG, cialis discount, created by Blizzard Entertainment. Cialis discount, My hubby started playing almost as soon as WoW, cialis discount, World of Warcraft, cialis discount, was released. Cialis discount, Recovering from being a SOCOM II and Final Fantasy Online widow, cialis discount, I really tried hard to not get him the game and so I held out till about Christmas, cialis discount, but then his really good friend got it for him, cialis discount, so what could I do?

He convinced me to trade in the FFXI, cialis discount, Final Fantasy Online, cialis discount, subscription and get a WoW subscription for him instead, cialis discount, since I handle all the household finances, cialis discount, and I succumbed.

At first it wasn’t too bad, cialis discount, but very soon after he was starting to become really addicted and I didn’t understand it. Cialis discount,  I would constantly talk to him about it and get very angry. Cialis discount, So he cleverly decided that I needed to play too so that I could understand him better. Cialis discount, I decided our marriage was worth it, cialis discount, so I joined up as well.

When created my own character on World of Warcraft he was already 15 levels ahead of me, cialis discount, and he was so enthusiastic about my playing and so excited about us playing together.  He even helped me level up, cialis discount, which translated to non-gamer-speak means he stopped progressing in the game to help me progress at a fast pace.  It actually felt really good to make those achievements as I reached higher and higher levels and doubly wonderful to see his reaction and enthusiasm as I advanced in the game. Cialis discount, I felt like at least we were doing it together and I was a part of this crazy gaming world of his.

It wasn’t long before I got addicted too. Cialis discount,  I found myself one day sort of ‘waking up’ after 12 hours of playing the game. Cialis discount,  I realized that in that week I hadn’t cleaned, cialis discount, I hadn’t paid any bills, cialis discount, and the worst thing, cialis discount, I didn’t answer a phone call from my mom. Cialis discount, (All my family lives in Canada, cialis discount, I live here in the US with my husband.  His family is my only family and a call from my mom means a lot to me).  When I realized what this game was turning me into I immediately quit. Cialis discount,  I found myself dreaming about the game, cialis discount, having urges wanting to get back on. Cialis discount, Boy did I ever start to understand my husband!

However, cialis discount, seeing myself reduced to that, cialis discount, I also realized how sickened I was by the addiction and disgusted that I could become that sort of person. Cialis discount,  Thank goodness we don’t have children!

So basically, cialis discount, my situation is this: I still play from time to time, cialis discount, I am now a level 32 undead warlock. Cialis discount, I try to play only once every week or two because the game never fails to make me stay on for over 5 hrs at a time, cialis discount, which I hate. Cialis discount, My husband is now a level 60 undead rogue and still as addicted as ever.

The only thing is that now he can’t lie to me anymore. Cialis discount, That is something I realized too. Cialis discount, He used to lie to me, cialis discount, for example, cialis discount, saying ‘Oh baby I can’t pause the game, cialis discount, I’m not safe’ when I’d ask him to pause the game and I’d believe him. Cialis discount, But now I can totally debate about how long it actually takes to get to a safe spot and judge when he actually CAN pause the game or not.

Likewise I know that when he says ‘Oh I’m just going to do this instance really quick, cialis discount,’ I know that means it will take him 3-4 hours because no instance is ever short. Cialis discount, So I have the lingo pretty down pat and I find that so incredibly helpful.  Even armed with that though, cialis discount, I still feel lonely often. Cialis discount,  I have chosen to really embrace that Latina in me and totally let him know how I feel. Cialis discount,  The thing is, cialis discount, he doesn’t see it as wrong. Cialis discount,  For him it’s his way of having ‘down time’ whereas I watch tv or read for my ‘down time’.

One thing I’ve definitely learned as a newlywed is that you really have to prioritize what you consider integral to your relationship.  For me it’s having an attentive husband who loves me more than anything or anyone.  Do I have that? YES.  I’ve learned to not have unrealistic expectations of my husband, cialis discount, no one is perfect 24 hours of the day.  I know him very well and I married him for who he is.  Do I still feel neglected at times? Oh most certainly.  But when I find the feeling of neglect to be really overwhelming I write about how I feel and talk to others who are in my situation or I talk to him about it, cialis discount, when he’s not playing of course!  All in all, cialis discount, the thing is, cialis discount, I accept that I am a Gamer Widow but I know that when I hurt or feel neglected, cialis discount, I can count on the gamer widow community to be there for me. Cialis discount, I hope that my experience serves as a jumping point for some discussion and I hope that I can be of some help with other gamer widows or gamer widowers in terms of deciphering the ‘WoW-speak’.

Submitted by: Lyoness

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1 Comment »

  1. Lyoness, cialis discount,
    I refuse to get pulled into the game, cialis discount, and he does try to teach me some of the game talk. I know he uses it to relax after working 12 hours at NIGHT, cialis discount, but we only have one day to spend together aweek and he’s always on it, cialis discount, I know what you’re saying about saying this will only take a few minutes. It always turns into hours. I don’t want to be a harpy, cialis discount, but I feel like I have to make apppointments with him for any alone time. I try not to be condecending or complain but sometimes it really is hard. If you can give me any advice, cialis discount, I sure would appreciate it. Thanks

    Comment by Linda — July 12, 2010 @ 1:57 pm

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